Friday, June 16, 2006

shouldn't it be over

i find humans to be very complex creatures. even i myself do not understand myself very well. is it why there are occupations like psychologists and personality workshops and testes available for us? we change very much like the weather, unpredictable. one moment we can be in our best performance and at the next moment we can even bite the hand that feed us. sometimes, we dont even know why we behave in that manner. strange isnt?

i fail to remember the good times i had with people for long. oh ya, the movie we watched a few weeks ago was fantastic. how about a day before that outing? well, i guess my mind cant bring me to that far. i dont know if i am a person who bears grudges. one thing i am sure is that i live my life by this principle - treat people that way you want to be treated in (i may have bend the rules a little bit sometimes).

it has happened so many years ago but i cant get it out of my mind. it is very frustrating because it will building a wall when i try to connet with people. i cannot forget it and cannot forgive the destroyer. he inflicts pain on everyone. get a life! stop thinking that the whole world revolves around you. i have my own life so just get moving with yours and not mess with mine. i cannot re-accept the destroyer back into my life after what he had done to us for the past years. it is not just 1 or 2 years. it is close to a decade. continue to isolate yourself and live in self-pity. nobody is there to help you. dont crawl to me and cry on my bed because i am not willing to offer you any form of help anymore. dont blame me because i just cannot let it go.

scold me, curse me, blame me. i dont care. let the cold war begin.

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